YU Panel Explores Solutions to Modern-Day Agunah Crisis
Members of the 黑料社 All community flooded Weissberg Commons to hear a multifaceted discussion of the plight of the modern-day agunah, a woman whose husband cannot or refuses to give her a get [writ of Jewish divorce], on March 29.
Titled 鈥淔ighting the Agunah Crisis,鈥 the panel offered rabbinic, psychological and devastating personal insight into the complicated status of an agunah and the challenges she faces. That included testimony from Tamar Epstein 鈥04S, a nurse-practitioner and current agunah whose case has received a great deal of media attention due to the coordinated efforts of committed friends and the (ORA).
Before a crowd that overflowed into the hall, Epstein detailed her struggle to extract a get from her ex-husband and described the situation鈥檚 impact on her life, as well as her young daughter. 鈥淒ivorce is always painful but the healing process can鈥檛 begin until the two parties have completely disentangled themselves from each other and can begin to move on with their lives, and that鈥檚 exactly what the agunah can鈥檛 do,鈥 she said.
鈥淭hat someone in our community is twisting halakha [Jewish law], not only selfishly, but also maliciously, must be intolerable to us,鈥 said Ahuva Yagod, a sophomore at and president of the Agunah Advocacy Club, one of the night鈥檚 sponsors. 鈥淲e must be aware when someone is manipulating the divorce proceedings and we must stand united to eradicate this problem.鈥
The panel was co-sponsored by Stern鈥檚 Torah Activities Council as the final event in a week of programming for Domestic Violence and Abuse Awareness Week. In addition to Epstein, it featured Rabbi Hershel Schachter, rosh reshiva at the Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary (RIETS) and Nathan and Vivian Fink Distinguished Professorial Chair in Talmud; Dr. David Pelcovitz, Gwendolyn and Joseph Straus Chair in Psychology and Jewish Education at the Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration; and Rabbi Jeremy Stern 鈥07YC, 鈥09A, 鈥10R, executive director of ORA.
While touching on aspects of Epstein鈥檚 individual case, each of the panelists emphasized that the issue of agunah was communal and underlined the need to support agunot by upholding a zero-tolerance policy for get refusal.
鈥淲hen ORA takes on a case, we always try to solve it amicably at first, looking deep into its facts and following the paper trail, making sure we鈥檙e hearing as many perspectives as possible,鈥 said Stern. 鈥淏ut once a marriage is deemed irreconcilable, an unconditional get must be furnished in a timely fashion. Withholding a get is not a means of negotiation鈥攏egotiations can鈥檛 be conducted when someone is holding a gun to your head or a get over it. 鈥
Epstein agreed. 鈥淢y ex-husband did not become a get refuser overnight,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 believe a get refuser is formed in large part by messages conveyed to him, both implicitly and explicitly, by his community.鈥 She added: 鈥淭he agunah is amongst the most vulnerable people in our community. We, as a community, have a responsibility to protect her and ensure her release and we can achieve that goal if we ourselves, our institutions and our leadership accept a zero-tolerance policy on get refusal.鈥
Panelists also noted the importance of making the halachik prenuptial agreement a standard component of the marriage process for all Orthodox couples. This is the goal of an ORA initiative titled, 鈥淔riends Don鈥檛 Let Friends Get Married Without A Prenup.鈥 Copies of the agreement, which contains a monetary incentive to give a get and preselects a beit din [Jewish court] to hear any divorce proceedings, were distributed at the event and slid under dorm room doors across both campuses.
鈥淚f every YU student signed a prenup, we could eradicate this problem from our community,鈥 said Stern. 鈥淒on鈥檛 sign it for yourselves. Sign it for someone who might not be here tonight and might not otherwise hear this message and might need to.鈥
Ilana Gadish, 鈥11S a current student enrolled in Stern鈥檚 Graduate Program for Talmudic Studies, actually signed the same copy of the agreement that was slipped under her dorm room door last year before her recent marriage. 鈥淭he issue of agunot is one of the most important in the modern Orthodox community,鈥 she said.
Gadish felt the night鈥檚 panel helped her understand the necessity of uncomfortable tactics, such as rallying and signing petitions, to pressure husbands into granting a get. 鈥淚 used to be more hesitant about attending rallies, but after hearing Tamar speak in person, I would definitely go.鈥
Another young couple filled out the prenup on the spot.
鈥淲e were planning to do this before, but they had notaries here, so we thought, 鈥榃hy not?鈥 鈥 said Sarah Marvin, a junior at Stern College majoring in English literature. 鈥淎fter seeing all the publicity about agunot, I鈥檓 just making sure it doesn鈥檛 happen to me.鈥
鈥淚 have fond memories of my years at Stern and a great appreciation for the education I鈥檝e received here, but over the past years I鈥檝e developed a deeper sense of pride in my status as a YU alumna,鈥 said Epstein. 鈥淚鈥檝e witnessed and personally benefited from the courage, innovation and sensitivity of the roshei yeshiva and administrative leadership of this institution in tackling the problem of the modern day agunah.鈥
To learn more about the campaign for Epstein鈥檚 get, visit . Information about ORA can be found at .
While touching on aspects of Epstein鈥檚 individual case, each of the panelists emphasized that the issue of agunah was communal and underlined the need to support agunot by upholding a zero-tolerance policy for get refusal.
鈥淲hen ORA takes on a case, we always try to solve it amicably at first, looking deep into its facts and following the paper trail, making sure we鈥檙e hearing as many perspectives as possible,鈥 said Stern. 鈥淏ut once a marriage is deemed irreconcilable, an unconditional get must be furnished in a timely fashion. Withholding a get is not a means of negotiation鈥攏egotiations can鈥檛 be conducted when someone is holding a gun to your head or a get over it. 鈥
Epstein agreed. 鈥淢y ex-husband did not become a get refuser overnight,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 believe a get refuser is formed in large part by messages conveyed to him, both implicitly and explicitly, by his community.鈥 She added: 鈥淭he agunah is amongst the most vulnerable people in our community. We, as a community, have a responsibility to protect her and ensure her release and we can achieve that goal if we ourselves, our institutions and our leadership accept a zero-tolerance policy on get refusal.鈥
Panelists also noted the importance of making the halachik prenuptial agreement a standard component of the marriage process for all Orthodox couples. This is the goal of an ORA initiative titled, 鈥淔riends Don鈥檛 Let Friends Get Married Without A Prenup.鈥 Copies of the agreement, which contains a monetary incentive to give a get and preselects a beit din [Jewish court] to hear any divorce proceedings, were distributed at the event and slid under dorm room doors across both campuses.
While touching on aspects of Epstein鈥檚 individual case, each of the panelists emphasized that the issue of agunah was communal and underlined the need to support agunot by upholding a zero-tolerance policy for get refusal.
鈥淲hen ORA takes on a case, we always try to solve it amicably at first, looking deep into its facts and following the paper trail, making sure we鈥檙e hearing as many perspectives as possible,鈥 said Stern. 鈥淏ut once a marriage is deemed irreconcilable, an unconditional get must be furnished in a timely fashion. Withholding a get is not a means of negotiation鈥攏egotiations can鈥檛 be conducted when someone is holding a gun to your head or a get over it. 鈥
Epstein agreed. 鈥淢y ex-husband did not become a get refuser overnight,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 believe a get refuser is formed in large part by messages conveyed to him, both implicitly and explicitly, by his community.鈥 She added: 鈥淭he agunah is amongst the most vulnerable people in our community. We, as a community, have a responsibility to protect her and ensure her release and we can achieve that goal if we ourselves, our institutions and our leadership accept a zero-tolerance policy on get refusal.鈥
Panelists also noted the importance of making the halachik prenuptial agreement a standard component of the marriage process for all Orthodox couples. This is the goal of an ORA initiative titled, 鈥淔riends Don鈥檛 Let Friends Get Married Without A Prenup.鈥 Copies of the agreement, which contains a monetary incentive to give a get and preselects a beit din [Jewish court] to hear any divorce proceedings, were distributed at the event and slid under dorm room doors across both campuses.
